Unfortunately, couples separate all the time with almost half of all marriages ending in divorce. When someone is unhappy in a relationship, it’s much healthier than they separate from their partner; however, this must also be handled in a healthy capacity. If someone is unable to handle the separation in a healthy manner, this can be just as damaging as an unhealthy relationship.
Separation is by no means easy and is arguably one of the most difficult things that someone can encounter. It’s not something that can be handled overnight, but there are steps that can be implemented over time to slowly ease the pain.
Put the Kids First
Firstly, if children are involved, they need to come first. From making child arrangements to giving them a space to express their feelings, it needs to be addressed how difficult separation can be for kids to process. It’s important to encourage children to talk about their feelings without pressuring them, and don’t worry if they’re not ready to talk yet. The most vital thing is that you make sure your kids know that the separation is not their fault, as most children will have a tendency to blame themselves. As long as you make this clear and be approachable, they’ll come to you when they’re ready.
Look After Yourself
When going through a difficult time, it’s very easy to fall into poor and destructive behaviors, such as becoming recluse, drinking, smoking, or adapting unhealthy dietary habits. Despite this, during your separation is when you need to be looking after yourself more than ever. Make sure you’re eating well, drinking plenty of water, getting as much sleep as you can, keeping relatively active, and relaxing when you need to. Keeping to your routine as much as possible is the best way to handle this huge change in your life in order to restore normality as much as you can.
Talk to Someone
The worst thing you can do at this time is try to take on everything alone; lean on your friends and family and talk to them about your feelings. You may even consider a support group where you’ll be able to talk to others who are going through the same thing as you. If you go down the route of isolating yourself, you’re more likely to feel stressed, your concentration will take a hit, and your work, relationships, and health will take a hit because of it. Don’t try and be the hero that goes it alone, use any support network available to you.
Take A Time Out
While it’s important to keep to your routine, it’s also vital you understand that everything isn’t the same and you need to take the time to process this. Therefore, if you’re not being as productive at work, don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re understandably upset and anxious about what lies ahead; you’re not a robot and it’s okay to be impacted by your feelings. Whenever you need to, take some time to heal, regroup, and re-energize.
Accept That Various Feelings are Okay
Last but not least, it’s important to accept what you feel for whatever that may be. You’re not obliged to feel sad forever and it’s highly unlikely that you will. You’re likely to experience feelings of confusion, frustration, exhaustion, anger, and even relief. Each of these feelings can feel like a lot to handle but it’s worth bearing in mind that these will become less intense over time. The biggest thing is the fear of the unknown, which is understandable for anyone venturing out into the world alone.